really fucked.
can u imagine my feelings?

why are people so surfacious?
why do people like to assume everything just on th surface.

am i very petty?
really, perhaps,
i keep thinking.

its really my perception, only,
but somehow i dint ask for this.
i never asked you this,
why am i so upset?

why am i so unsettled and upset,
why do i care so much,
why do my feelings torment me to th point where.

do man in general enjoy inflicting hurt on others?
bringing up subjects id rather much not mention,
do u know how hard i tried to hide it,
u know,
i tried to avoid it,
why must u bring it up.


no, NO, fuck no,
i am not proud of it,
i dont want to show it off,
im hiding it already,
why must u fucking bring it up?

why do i care so much.



human have a extraordinary way of getting used to things,
getting used to routine,
used to everyday life,
used to sadness,
used to pain,
used to being hurt.

still,
some things are hard to get used to,
difficult to get used to,
i cant get used to.


do u know how much i hate myself,
i just realised im so foolish to think so much
after so much time,
im so ignorant and stupid.
how can i be so fucking stupid,
keeping my hopes so high,
after all these time, crap.

im just.
why am i so stupid,
caring so much for someone who doesnt give a shit.
so why?

yeah, why,
why man.

u cannot imagine th extent to which i hate myself now.

foolish people get played,
toyed with and hurt.
stop being foolish.


start to just get numb.
easier, no?